


we're young enough to try to build a better life

by ShakyHades



Series: Atlas [7]
Category: Star Wars - All Media Types
Genre: Anakin and Padmé are not a Thing™, Anakin doesn't turn to the dark side, Angst with a Happy(ish) Ending, Canonical Character Death, I can't do anything else it seems, I'm a Sap™, Kind of a fix-it, M/M, None of the main characters though, Off-screen Deaths, Sidious gets rekt, do I even need to say it's ambiguous?, only it doesn't happen in the same way and in the same time, this one is a little heavier on the angst
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-02-25
Updated: 2016-02-25
Packaged: 2018-05-23 03:30:44
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,339
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6103387
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ShakyHades/pseuds/ShakyHades
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>War has many consequences, most of them bad. But in the end, it gives us an opportunity to learn from our mistakes, and prevent ourselves from doing them again, in favor of a better life.<br/>Obi-Wan and Anakin learn this, after three years of battle.</p>
            </blockquote>





	we're young enough to try to build a better life

**Author's Note:**

> Title from Mars, by Sleeping at Last. (no surprise there, i'm nothing but predictable.)  
> Uh, I have realized that this series may have over 70 one shots one day, and I'm already regretting it. I really hope you don't get tired of seeing my name on the list.  
> (what am I doing with my life, oh god)
> 
> As always, feel free to point any mistakes~

Obi-Wan and Anakin were present in the first battle of the Clone Wars, the Battle of Geonosis, and one could even say that they were, in part, the reason for its beginning in that specific place.

Anakin remembers that, in those first months of battle, he felt free. In a war, it doesn’t matter if you’re still a Padawan; your strength is needed, your help, your ideas. There’s no time to scold someone for deviating from what they should be, because war blurs that concept beyond recognition.

_(at night, after long battles, Obi-Wan twists and turns, trying to fix on his mind that **they are peacemakers, not warriors, not soldiers** , but it never goes away, what countless others have said and will say)_

And Anakin, well, he was always good at fighting, wasn’t he? But _they_ , the Jedi Council, had always said that it was bad. That he should strive to create, not to destroy. Obi-Wan said that it was bad as well.

But when your life and millions of others are on the line, it doesn’t matter. They might scowl at you or express their discontent in other ways, but in the end, it somehow worked, because you’re still _there_ and _alive_.

That freedom, to act almost as you wish in some situations, leaves Anakin heady. He can’t help but rejoice internally, that he’s finally respected, that they listen to him, instead of considering him a simple Padawan, who still has much to learn. He almost gets drunk with pride.

 

x

 

It is known that, fundamentally, war is wrong. It brings suffering and famine, sickness and death.

The worst thing it brings is the death of innocents.

Even though all of us know that, we don’t really understand it until we have lived it. Anakin learns that a few months after the beginning of the war and it teaches him that, despite his new-found moderate freedom, it’s not a fair trade.

_(war is never, **ever** fair)_

It starts with a routine mission, as usual. Escorting a small ship, the _Oretta_ , carrying Jedi, wounded clones and some politicians. These Jedi, though, are Padawans, and barely so, still maintaining some of their childhood innocence.

_(which will soon be ripped away, because war taints **everything** )_

And then a Separatist fleet shows up. It is too much for their lone Star Destroyer and the small carrier they escort. The lack of defenses on the latter is exactly why they were being protected in the first place, so they stood no chance in a fight.

They try, they really do. They fight back as hard as they can, willingly taking hits so that the _Oretta_ wouldn’t, but it’s no use.

By the time reinforcements arrive, the ship they were assigned to protect has already been destroyed.

It eats at Anakin for months after. He keeps going back to that day in his memories, reviewing once, twice, _thrice_ , what he had done and what he could, _should_ have done.

_(and as much as Obi-Wan tries to hide it, Anakin knows he does the same)_

_(Obi-Wan is just better at pretending)_

 

x

 

After that, Anakin never thinks that any outcome of war is good again. It is only made for suffering.

They keep on fighting, every day, side by side. Anakin knows that they are called _The Team_ on the HoloNet, and that they’re seen as the biggest weapon of the Republic against the Separatists, and it unsettles something deep in his gut. A part of the population wants justice ( _revenge_ ) for every individual killed by the enemy. Others just want it to end, the bloodshed and the constant fear of invasion. Some would literally do anything to have peace again.

Obi-Wan and Anakin are part of the second group. After over two years of battle, their exhaustion has reached their cores. They simply want to go back to the Temple, and the quiet life they led before.

But they are Jedi. They must help, save as many planets as they can, and then some. They would never refuse to help someone in need, and there is no shortage of that in the galaxy.

_(both of them were in the first battle of the war. they don’t doubt, for one second, that they will be in the last one as well)_

 

x

 

A little over a year later, the news that the Clone Wars has ended is plastered all over the HoloNet. Count Dooku and General Grievous are dead, and the Republic turns into an enormous party, every world celebrating and drinking to peace, at long last.

But to the Jedi, the war wasn’t over. Not when they discovered that a Sith was still at large, hidden.

When they realized that the Dark Lord they were searching for was no other than Chancellor Palpatine, things went to hell pretty quickly.

A group of Jedi Masters was sent to the Chancellor’s office, to confront him, and subdue the Sith if necessary. And even though Anakin was told to stay at the Temple, the Force screamed **_danger_** inside his head, and he ran to the Senate with Obi-Wan at his heels. When they arrived there, four of the Masters were already dead, and Windu was locked in a very deadly duel against Palpatine.

Sidious tried to sway Anakin, tried to turn him to the dark, but with Obi-Wan at his side, Anakin was immovable. With their help, the Dark Lord of the Sith was defeated, and finally, the war had ended. They could start to heal.

 

x

 

The thing is, it’s not easy to come home again after three years of constant battle. The simplest of sounds keep alarming Obi-Wan and Anakin, even though they try to hide it. A night of restful, dreamless sleep is almost inconceivable. Their nightmares aren’t so much as nightmares as they are memories and terror-filled could-have-beens. They had seen many friends and innocents die right in front of them, and it leaves a deep, open wound in their conscience. The what-ifs, both good and bad, are constantly in their minds.

_(they hadn’t realized that even if the physical war ends and the bruises heal, it keeps on going in their heads, no matter how much they try to convince themselves.)_

_(because war taints it all, and alertness has been tattooed on their bones, and they can’t stop themselves from jumping and falling into battle stance if a sudden sound is heard.)_

_(they quickly agree that muscle memory is a **bitch**.)_

_(even though it was what kept them alive, when they were too tired to think but still had to continue fighting)_  

 

x

 

The Jedi Order goes through an intensive period of change. The Council decides that if they want to stop such things from happening again, they must reevaluate themselves, to see where it went wrong. Anakin, sassy as ever, pulls Obi-Wan aside and rattles quite the lengthy list of things to be considered when he hears of it and the Jedi Master sees that only part of it is spoken in a mocking way.

( _Obi-Wan makes sure to mention the points Anakin raised in the next Council session_ )

The Jedi Master can tell Anakin is shocked when he realizes that Obi-Wan took his suggestions seriously. The older man can’t help but smile and remind him that they _are_ trying to change for the better, after all, and every opinion is valuable.

_(“I still can’t believe you relayed what I said to the Council. But what I find even harder to believe is the fact that they are actually thinking about it!”_

_“Oh please, Anakin, have a little more faith. You do have an unique point of view, and as I’ve said many times, the more information, the better.”_

_“Yeah, yeah, now stop looking at me so pointedly, I get it.”_

_“Good.”_

_“But I still can’t believe it.”_

_“Anakin!”)_

 

x

 

War brings many bad things, yes. But one could say that there _is_ something good to take from it: the conviction and the will to prevent it from ever happening again.

**Author's Note:**

> It's not explicit, but both of us knows that Sidious died here. I like to think he was decapitated, what about you?


End file.
